Chapter 8

Hey guys, this is Mel. Posting for a certain someone since she's off enjoying the sun. Enjoy the next chapter!!!!! 

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

23 – Jimmy Eat World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0085_FUpics

Ch. 8

“So okay, what the hell was that all about last night?!” Sid questioned dramatically as he pushed himself into my apartment with Kris, Jordan and Geno in tow.  “One minute I’m introducing you to this amazing girl, then you’re making out with her, and then you two are arguing outside in the freezing cold!”

I walked over to the fridge, grabbed 5 beers, handed them out and then flopped down on the couch, letting my head fall backwards against it.  “I’m sorry guys, especially you Sid.  Definitely didn’t mean to put you in an awkward spot at your own party, I obviously didn’t know she was going to be there…there of all places.”

“I thought you were gay until you dated Shelly…” Jordan piped up.  Kris punched him immediately in the gut as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

I left out a laugh and shook my head.  “I can understand why you might have though that, especially last season.”

“So it looks like you and Hanna had known each other pretty well at one point,” Sid spoke up.

I nodded my head and looked around to find all of their eyes on me.  “She’s Brad Richard’s niece...” I began.

“You met her in Dallas,” Kris said quietly, quickly picking up on things.  He was always one of the attentive ones in the group.

I nodded my head and gave them the abridged version, keeping out most of the sappy, love-sick bullshit.  I didn’t need to go into the major details, they could put it together and they did.

“What happen now?” Geno asked.

“Dunno,” I mumbled before taking a long sip of beer.  “I tried calling her, but it went right to voicemail.”

“Matt said she was flying to Philly this morning,” Sidney said helpfully.

“Probably to see Mike…” I grumbled.

“Well, she is dating him,” Jordan pointed out unhelpfully.

“No shit.”

“But maybe she’ll break it off with him in Philly,” he piped up again.  “I mean, keep calling her.  Keep texting her, send her flowers, say your sorry, girls like when you make a fuss over them.”

“How many women you have Jordy?” Geno laughed.

“Shut your yap, Russian!” Jordan fired back, causing us all to laugh because Geno had a very good point.  However, what Jordan said did make sense.

“Please, I want to talk to you.  We need to fix this.”

It was probably the 5^th text I got from him in over a week and a half.  Each one I deleted, cursing him for even trying to get in touch with me, especially since I hadn’t even talked to Mike about what happened.

Mike and I had such a lovely time in Philly that I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him I saw James and that we had kissed.  I felt like total shit about it, but to be in his arms again made me want to believe that what Mike and I had was something very good.  He picked me up at the airport on New Years Day and we didn’t spend a minute apart, until the game on the 2^nd.  We skated together at Penn’s Landing as we caught up on everything we missed together while he had been in Philly.  Things felt comfortable between us and I was happy with that.  I was trying to sell myself to the fact that I was happy enough with Mike and that I didn’t need to uproot my life.  Of course, this didn’t help the sudden night-time restlessness I was facing due to my thoughts about James constantly bouncing around my head at night-time.

“You’re up again?!” JP teased me as I walked into the kitchen at 1am to make myself a cup of hot tea.

“And what is your excuse?” I smiled, tiredly.

“Insomnia.”

I knew this.  He always had problems with it and Mike said it always got worse as the season wore on.  Some days he would end up finally crashing and sleeping for almost 18-20 hours.

“What about you?  I never noticed you having problems sleeping, Little Miss Sleep Anywhere and Everywhere.”

He was totally right about this.  The guys picked on me when we were on away trips because I would literally curl up in a ball in a hallway or airport chair and take a nap.  “Just have a lot of things on my mind I guess,” I sighed, dipping my tea bag in the hot water.

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with James, would it?” he raised a curious eye brow.

My eyes shot up at him and I just stared.  “How do you know?”

He sat down next to me with a bowl of cereal and sighed.  “You left your cell phone sit the other day and it rang, and I saw the caller ID.  I didn’t answer it and I didn’t say anything to anyone about it.”

“Thank you.”

“I consider you one of my best friends, and best friends don’t blab certain things to everyone,” he said quietly.

“I saw him in Pittsburgh New Year’s Eve…”

“You’re still in love with him.”

“I don’t want to be.  I want to be in love with Mike.”

“It’s not always your choice.”

I sipped my tea, allowing it to burn my mouth and throat.  “I just wanted to move along.  I just want to be able to have my career and keep achieving my goals…”

“Why don’t think you’ll be able to have that with James?” he asked curiously.

“I’m up here in Glen Falls,” I turned to him.

“Yeah, and Mike’s in Philly right now.”

“But I’ve been offered a position next season with the big club,” I admitted.  He was the first person I told.  Ed Snider had been in contact with me just a couple weeks ago and I had yet to give him a final answer, which he stated was fine.  He just needed to know by the end of the season.

“That’s awesome news.”

“Exactly, so I can’t see things working overly well when I’m in Philly and James is in Pittsburgh…”

“I can’t see you selling yourself short either.”

“What do you mean?”

“You need to figure it out for yourself, Hanna, but just remember, true love is a once in a lifetime thing.”

I sighed.  “I just don’t know if I can believe that.”

“I’m sure the right person could make you believe,” he gave me a look that reminded me he was older and wiser than me and that I should probably listen to him.

The weeks crept by and I still hadn’t heard from her.  I was literally driving myself crazy.  I needed to see her and apologize and tell her how much I needed her.  It got to the point that I couldn’t even focus on hockey, which made Sidney finally pull me aside for an intervention.

“You need to go to her and lay it all out there,” he said.  “We need your head in the game and not in some far away land.”

“I don’t know if going to her is going to help,” I grimaced.

“You won’t know if you don’t try.”

“She’s in Wilkes-Barre two nights from now and we are off for the All-Star Break…”

“Then you better get good directions,” he smiled.

Two nights later I was on I-80 heading East to Wilkes-Barre.  It was a nice 5 hour trip, giving me all the time in the world to figure out what the hell I was going to say or even do.  Sid actually gave me Matt’s number so I could apologize and talk to him in a more civil manner this time around.  After speaking with him, I realized that even though he had feelings for her this past summer, he cared for her more as a big brother.  He also gave me a little hope when he told me I was doing the right thing by seeing her and telling her how I really felt, something I probably should have done New Years Eve.

“Excuse me sir,” a guard stopped me.  “You need a pass to get down there…”

I flashed him my player ID, to which he began apologizing profusely.  I just smiled and brushed it off.  “Um, actually, can you help me?  I’m looking for someone who works with the Phantoms.  Her name is Hanna Richards?”

“What’s it to you?” a male voice called out in a not so friendly tone from behind me.

I turned around and found a semi-familiar face, but I wasn’t quite sure why.  “I’m here to see her,” I said slowly.  He was standing there with Ben Holstrom, one of the Flyer’s rookies and it was then I realized it was probably Mike Testwuide.  “I’m assuming you are Mike?”

“Yea, I am.  Does Hanna know you are here?” he asked, clenching his jaw and definitely on the defense.

I tried looking around him as I saw someone leave the locker room with a dark brown ponytail along with a similar build of Hanna.  “No, she doesn’t…Hanna?!” I called out.  She instantly turned around and just looked at the group of us standing there with not much emotion in her face.

“You aren’t welcome here…” Mike continued.

“Let it go, Mike,” Ben spoke up, putting a hand on Mike’s shoulder.

“Hi, Mike,” Hanna walked past me, hugged Mike and gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning and doing the same with Ben.  Mike held her for a moment longer than Ben and I knew right away that they were no longer together.  The look in his eyes was the same I had seen in mine every time I looked in the mirror the weeks following our break-up.  Hanna then turned around and looked at me, again with no emotion in her face.  “James.”

This was not really the welcome I was expecting.  Her cold, stone face worried me.  “Hi Hanna,” I said quietly.

“What are you doing here?” she asked evenly.

“To see you…”

“This is not the place to do that.”

I left out a nervous laugh, “Well it’s not like I really have a choice when you don’t answer my calls or texts.”

“Maybe that should be a hint,” Mike piped up.

She glared over at him and he quickly shut-up.  “Guys, just go sit down, I’ll be up in a bit.  Please?”

“I’ll see you out on the ice Neal…”

“Same here, Testwuide,” I nodded, accepting his challenge.  We would see each other at the end of the month and I would be ready.

When I looked back at Hanna, her arms were crossed and she was trying to hide a smile as she rolled her eyes.

I instantly knew it was him when he called out my name.  A rush of emotion flooded through me but I knew I had to keep my cool.  This was not the time or place to be jumping on him.  Mike was here and I would never throw this in his face.  He deserved better than that.  We were in the process of trying to save our friendship, he didn’t need to see me go all ga-ga over James; especially since I wasn’t 100% sure what James was doing here.  I was not getting ahead of myself.

“I saw that smile,” he instantly started in with a smirk.

“You saw nothing,” I bit my lip, trying my hardest to stay serious.

“You’ve never been a good liar,” he leaned in and whispered into my ear.  “Plus, I don’t ever remember you holding anything back from me.  What changed?”

I crossed my arms and left out a huff.  “I tried to forget you and I think in the process I tried to forget the person I was when I was with you.”

“I never forgot about you,” he whispered again, backing me up against the cold cement of the hallway.  I could hear the crowd getting loud as the two teams took the ice, but I was unable to focus on much else.  To reiterate his declaration, he held his left wrist up in front of me, showing me the black and olive bracelet.

“I never did either,” I admitted, holding up my left wrist.  “Why are you here?” I asked again, already knowing the answer; however, hearing it from his lips shook me to the core.

“Because I love you,” he spoke softly as his grey eyes looked searchingly into mine.